Toryn’s Story: The Puppy Who Couldn’t Be Left

From the moment we picked up Toryn at eight weeks old, it was clear she was full of energy, joy, and sweetness — but she really struggled with being left. Even for a second.

She’s always been a happy-go-lucky, affectionate dog, but being alone was something she simply couldn’t handle. Early on, I realised leaving her on her own wasn’t an option. Moona, my other dog, didn’t want to know either, and I couldn’t leave them together — Toryn’s frustration and need for contact would quickly turn into nipping or biting.

When I work with new puppy owners, one of the first things I ask is: how are you planning to manage your puppy at night? My advice is always the same — don’t leave them to “cry it out.” You’ve got two good options: either sleep downstairs with your puppy where you eventually want them to sleep, or (what I usually recommend) let them start off in your bedroom and slowly wean them towards independence.

Personally, I’ve always had my dogs in my bedroom. I’ve done that since I was fifteen — I find it comforting, and it helps me know they’re safe and relaxed. So with Toryn, that was always going to be the plan. But even with that closeness, it wasn’t easy.

I created a little safe zone for her — not a crate, but a soft, secure space right next to my bed where she couldn’t reach wires or Moona. It was basically a wooden pen made from a fireguard, and it worked perfectly for safety… but emotionally, Toryn still couldn’t settle. I would lie beside her until she fell asleep, and the second I moved, she would wake up in a panic.

I tried everything — different bedding, a new setup, gentle music, sleeping on the floor next to her — but nothing truly helped her feel okay on her own. Every attempt to step away just led to more distress, and I could see the difference between mild fussing and genuine panic. That’s something I never want a puppy to go through.

The Daytime Struggles

If the nights were tough, the days were even harder. I thought I could pop out for an hour or two to train clients and then come back. I assumed she’d be fine for a short while in the kitchen with toys, beds, and chews.

But even that was too much.

Every time I came back, I could see it in her eyes — she’d been terrified. She broke through barriers, scaled baby gates, and twice managed to get herself trapped in a cupboard. That was the moment I knew she wasn’t just unsettled — she was panicking.

So we changed everything. The dogs started coming to work with us — it’s part of our lifestyle anyway. But Toryn also hated the car. That was our next challenge.

We started small: a hand on her shoulder for reassurance, short drives, a chew to focus on, calm music. Gradually she moved from beside me to the back seat, then finally into a secure travel crate in the boot. Of course, in true Toryn fashion, she once broke through the crate mid-drive and climbed in with Moona — who, being the saint she is, simply sat there politely waiting for me to pull over.

Just When Things Were Improving…

Once we’d started making progress — Toryn could travel better, settle at work, and even start short stints at home with me upstairs — everything changed again.

I bought a camera to watch her from my phone so I could gauge when to return. I did all the prep: walks, food, enrichment, chews — everything she needed before I left her downstairs for 20-minute intervals while I worked upstairs. Sometimes she was more settled than others, but slowly, she started to cope. We even got up to half an hour to an hour without fuss.

Then, just as we were starting to win, in early December, Toryn broke her elbow.

She was around four months old, and that injury completely turned our world upside down. I had literally just put the crate away when we suddenly needed it again — urgently.

There was a week before her surgery, and during that time, I had to sit with her constantly to stop her moving. Once she had the operation, I spent weeks by her side, training her to be comfortable in the crate and still enough to heal. It wasn’t easy for her — she’s naturally busy, determined, and social — but it gave us no choice but to make crate training work.

In hindsight, that accident became one of the most valuable lessons for both of us. She learned that the crate could be a safe space, and I learned just how important structured rest and emotional support are for a dog that hates restriction.

Progress and Setbacks

Slowly, surely, Toryn could be left for longer periods. By late spring, I was finally leaving her with the run of the house. Both dogs would settle together, usually on our bed, while I was out.

That worked beautifully — until Toryn realised she could look out the window. Now she spends most of her “alone time” waiting for me to return, keeping watch from her new favourite spot. So, the next step is to settle her again and limit her access upstairs.

For now, I always leave her with Moona. I haven’t yet left Toryn completely alone — and honestly, I don’t need to right now — but when I do, it’ll be a slow and careful process. We don’t have a crate big enough for her anymore, so creating a safe, low-stimulation space will be essential.

Touch wood, Toryn has never been destructive, but she’s definitely the kind of dog who might try to jump out the window if I left it open. She’s determined, clever, and incredibly bonded — a mix that takes management and planning.

We’ve also come full circle recently, as I suspect that elbow might be bothering her again. We’ll be running full x-rays soon to check that the screw is still sitting correctly, and to make sure her other elbow is sound.

Lessons Learned (and What Might Help You)

If you’re going through something similar — a puppy that panics when left — here are a few key takeaways from our journey:

• Get as much help as you can early on. Having another person around makes it easier to prevent panic moments while you build confidence.

• Avoid pushing past stress. Don’t leave your dog to “get used to it.” You want calm, not collapse.

• The door should be boring. Practise walking in and out repeatedly until your dog stops following you. A dog that shadows you from room to room isn’t ready for full separation yet. You need to build coming and going and your dog being chilled.

• Use cameras. They’re brilliant for spotting early signs of stress before things spiral.

• Crate training, done properly, is invaluable. It’s not punishment. It’s a safe place — for recovery, travel, or simply learning to rest. Train it with food, chews, short sessions, and your presence nearby.

• Start early. The longer you wait to teach independence, the harder it becomes as the bond deepens.

• If your dog panics, go back to basics. Rebuild gradually, no matter their age.

• Train your dog to be calm in the car. For many dogs like Toryn, being confident travelling can be a step toward freedom — it means they can safely come along for more experiences, rather than being left behind.

Final Thoughts

Separation anxiety can take over your life if you let it. I’ve seen owners become completely tied to their dogs — afraid to leave the house in case it sets them back. I understand that more than ever now, because Toryn’s journey has tested everything I know about patience, empathy, and training.

If you’re struggling with a dog that can’t be left, don’t wait until it becomes destructive or distressing. Get support early — even if it’s just an online chat, a video review of your setup, or a bit of reassurance that you’re on the right track.

You can always reach out for help — it’s something I offer regularly through Happy Hounds Dog Training, both in-person and online. Sometimes all it takes is a few tweaks, a solid plan, and a bit of moral support to help you and your dog find your calm again.

A Little Update

As I’m writing this, I can see that Toryn’s separation anxiety has ramped up again — most likely linked to her current season. She’s had free run of the house and usually settles happily on my bed, but she’s recently taken to standing on the windowsill, watching out for me. So, it’s time to retrain her to settle back downstairs in the comfort of the lounge.

One thing that’s going to help me with this is a new product I’ve been trying called Pawd Drinks, calming drinks for dogs. This isn’t meant to be an advert, but after trialling it recently, my dogs slept so soundly one evening when they’d normally be restless and playful. It’s definitely something I’ll be using to help soften those separation moments and support them through fireworks season too.

Written by Jen – Happy Hounds Dog Training, Hexham

Force-free dog training that focuses on building calm, confidence, and connection. Helping dogs and their humans learn to understand each other — one step at a time.